i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
