It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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