I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
