Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
