Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
