Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
