Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
