Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
