apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
