But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
