She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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