Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
