I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
