Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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