I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
