She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
