one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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