I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
