i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
