Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
