Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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