my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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