ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
