is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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