Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
