I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
