Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
