We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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