i barfeds in our rink
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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