Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
