okay pat passed out under dana's car
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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