Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
