How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
