Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
