Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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