her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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