Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You took a bar mat shot.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
