this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
