Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
