is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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