yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
