If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she looked like the before picture.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
