Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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