you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
