did you get engaged???
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
