Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
