im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
be right there i have to get my cape
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
