you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
