I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We smell like vodka and hangover
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