What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
