Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
