I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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