why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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