Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
